Make my coffee vat sized, please.

Today I could use some coffee. Let’s make it a small, medium, large, jumbo, pot, no, let’s make it a vat. Obviously I really really REALLY need coffee.

I don’t know something about still being awake at 12:20 and then have the trusty old alarm clock blare in your blissfully ignorant sleeping ear at 6:15. When you’re old.

I always thought old people needed more sleep. It seems to me the older I get the less sleep I get. By the time I’m 50 I’ll be sleeping like Elizabeth did as a baby.

Want to know how she slept? That’s easy. She didn’t. Not. At. All. And if she didn’t sleep guess who else didn’t sleep? Yup, that’d be me.  But in the past 8 years I’ve gotten accustomed to sleeping again and it’s grand really.

Except on days like today. Days like today..I’m not sure there is enough coffee in the world…and to prove my point exactly, I can’t remember the rest of that sentence.

People will never know if I have Alzheimers. “Did you know Mrs. FullCup has alzheimers?”
“Really? She does? She’s always been like that.”

Speaking of alzheimers, I was talking with a friend yesterday who out of the blue used the word “warped”. I honestly can’t remember the context of the conversation at all. I had to jump in and say “Warped. That’s my nickname.”

Because you know I’ve been called that a few times.

The response? “Warped?” I can see that.” Longish pause. “Kind of.” I wanted to say, “Hey it’s okay to say you can really see that and then have a good laugh because honestly I’ll tell the world about this conversation and we’ll all laugh.”

Today Catherin had to go to school faking an injury. Yeah, you try explaining that to an 11 year old Chinese student. I had no idea how to do this. So I called in a few favors and Catherin was ready for school.

When we pulled up to our friends office where he was going to help get her ready, we told Catherin what we were doing and she decided she’d really rather not. It seems she misunderstood what we said and thought we were bringing her there to be injured.

It didn’t help matters at all when our friend offered to cut her face and stitch it up for her.

I told her for the picture to look especially injured.


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