I can’t take me anywhere.

Sometimes I seriously wonder about myself. Okay, change that. I often wonder about myself.

Yesterday morning, after my shower, I’m in the bathroom getting dressed and ready to face the day. Normally Thursdays are not too scary in my house. Notice I said “Normally” and if we’ve learned anything at all, my house is decidedly not normal.  As I was getting dressed, I had quite a bit of trouble putting my shirt on. I’ve been dressing myself for a number of decades and it’s not been a problem for many of them.

In fact it hasn’t been a problem at all, until yesterday. The shirt would not go over my head. Not at all. I struggled with it for more time than I care to admit, before taking it off and looking at it.

I was trying to cram my head through the arm hole.

That would cause a problem.

I blame poor circulation for my generally cold body. But really it’s probably not. I live in a cold climate; and I keep our thermostat set at a cooler number than most. Hence I’m generally cold. Every now and again I break out into a sweat though.

Since I’m generally cold, and yesterday was no exception, after realizing my problem in getting my shirt on, fixing the trouble; leaving the bathroom, I was cold. I headed back to put on a sweater. Only I don’t mean a sweater–sweater. I only own one it isn’t near warm enough. I mean a hooded sweat jacket. I have the kind that zips up and the kind you pull over your head.

In retrospect, I should have chosen the zip-up kind, because again I have problems. Similar problems to the shirt but not entirely the same. I put my arms through the arm holes just fine. I just could not for the life of me figure out why I couldn’t get the jacket pulled down off of my face.

Oh yeah. I had it on backwards and the hood was covering my face. In case you’re wondering, pulling the bottom of your sweat jacket to get it on “all the way”, won’t help matters at all if it’s on backwards and the hood is covering your face.

I hoped that was all behind me. But alas, in the afternoon we needed to run some errands. I put on my sunglasses and prepare to start the van, when from the backseat I hear my oldest child say, “Uhhh, Momma, you just put your regular glasses back on.” A quick peek in the rear view mirror reveals that she speaks the truth. Apparently I put my sunglasses on while I was on the porch, got in the van and then took them off. I have absolutely zero recollection of putting them on.

Today is a new day. I awoke excited with the prospect of a, in the words of Anne Shirley, “brand new day with no mistakes in it.”

I was giving Beanie a spelling test. Her word was: equals. She likes me to give her the word in a sentence; her sentence was “2 + 2 EQUALS 5” (caps for emphasis.)

Oh yes I did. She was quick to say “no, it doesn’t.”

A later word: Channel. Her sentence, “Please change the CHANNEL so we can watch Ben and Jerry.”

“Momma, what is that?”

It was supposed to be Tom and Jerry, the cartoon and not Ben and Jerry’s, the ice cream.

Maybe I’ll just be quiet for the rest of the day.


(Image linked to source.)