A few weeks ago I traveled to a friend’s house in a neighboring state. It had been too long since we had been together and we were both determined to make a visit work. The morning of our first (and only) full day together, she backed out of her garage and bumped my van. I text Mr. FullCup to contact our auto-body man about it and see if he could fix it.
The next afternoon about 3 hours into a 3.5 hour drive home I noticed my “service engine soon” light came on. A few miles down the road I realized I was only driving 50mph in a 60mph zone. I had been using the cruise and tried to reset it many times but it just wouldn’t reset. I was dumbfounded.
The first stoplight I came to was red. When it turned green, my van was very very slow to go through. I took out my phone at the next stoplight that was also red and called Mr. FullCup, telling him to call our auto-mechanic because there was something really wrong.
Now realize a few months ago we put in a rebuilt engine. About 10 days before this, our van had been in the shop for something I don’t understand. I was frustrated with the whole deal.
The next day, Good Friday, our van was in the shop. The diagnoses? The transmission was toast. The cost of repair by way of putting in a used (not rebuilt!) transmission was more than we could conceive of.
We were faced with a few options. Fix the van or not. If we fixed it we would be putting a significant amount of money into it, knowing we had already put more money in than the van was worth. If we didn’t fix it, we would need to purchase another mode of transportation. And we just got out of debt. The way it looked to us, it was a debt either way. We haven’t saved enough to pay for the repairs or a new/different van yet.
Talk about a dilemma. I was praying God would see fit to drop a newer, fewer mileage car into our laps. (I’ve found I’m allergic to debt.) Mr. FullCup was of the mind to repair what I thought was a sinking ship. You know, you patch one hole only to spring a leak somewhere else. Where do you draw the line and say “no more”?
We both prayed about. We prayed for wisdom and an increase in our trust. I confess I was not happy with what I felt God was telling me. Not happy at all.
You see I started to see that God knew that Wednesday morning the next afternoon my transmission would give up the ghost (in a manner of speaking). I’m not at all saying God made my friend hit my van and dent it. Not at all, because frankly I don’t know. I do know Joseph was sold into slavery which could be a bad thing, but God used it for good.
We heard that my friend would not have deductible on our van since her liability coverage would pay for all the repairs. We were again (and I’m going backwards a bit here) faced with a dilemma. Do we use the insurance money to repair the van or do we junk the van and use the insurance money to help get a new(er…to us) van. I was leaning towards the latter. Mr. FullCup towards the former. (It’s how we operate really.)
So back to the praying. I couldn’t get the thought that He knew it would happen. He also knew what the estimates on our van would be. He knew they would provide enough money to pay for both the body work and the transmission.
Funny thing. When I finally told Mr. FullCup my thoughts, they were exactly like His thoughts.
Sigh. We knew God was in it and He was speaking. When I returned a call from State Farm, I was told they go above and beyond the cost of just the repair. In short, this van is our only mode of transportation with an engine, so when it is in the shop we are car/van-less. Stranded until it is repaired. Not so this time.
Yes, indeed God is in it. He is directing. And yes, if I’m completely honest I’m praying and hoping the insurance looks at the cost of the estimates and says “you know what? We’re just going to total the van”.
But either way I will have seen God work. And that is a trust builder!
2 thoughts on “Understanding Trust part 2”
He is always directing, isn’t He? Even when we don’t have enough sense to trust Him to be in the details. I have had many occasions lately to do just that: trust God to be in the details. I am learning something about Him, and I am so thankful for this new wisdom. It is by grace that we can withstand troubled times knowing our God will provide the way of escape!
That is it exactly! He is always leading and promises blessings for obedienxe. Sometimes the blessing is the peace of His presence.
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