Parenting is hard work. It’s easy one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. It’s constant, relentless. It’s 24/7.

Between the sleepless newborn nights, the toddler temper tantrums, and the teenage angst, it’s just all hard. There are times of intense joy and equally intense hardships with tears. 

The hard is often compounded by the difficult things our children want. Their expectations of themselves and us can be daunting.  When we are faced with their demands and our own insecurities it is easy to give in to both. We give them what they want so we feel good about ourselves. 

We think that by giving in we will save face. We are so insecure we can’t bear the thought of what a child might do, or how we will look if we don’t give in. 

We are also quick to jump in to save and rescue. We refuse to allow them to fail because we think it will reflect badly on us and our parenting. 

But we need, no, we must allow them to fail. We must tell them they don’t have to be the best at something. We have to allow them to try new things. They need it. 

We must always remind them that failing does not equal being a failure. We must tell them their actions are only their actions, they are not their identity. 

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They aren’t ours either. We judge ourselves by our actions, and we wrongly seek our identity in them. We are not what we do.

Just because we fail, or our children fail does not mean we are failures. Because our identity is based in, or found in, or because of what we do. It’s because of WHOSE we are.